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Showing posts from July, 2017

The (Simplistic) Solution

Ok. I will answer all of your questions. All at once. First I'd just like to say, a little courtesy would be nice; even assholes deserve common decency now and then.

That said, without knowing any more detail of any situation presented, I will give you the best answer I can, assuming we've implemented the systems I propose as opposed to the current system. (Seeing as how that's what I'm after.  I don't want to force women who don't want their kids to raise them, I want reform the system so that adoptees don't lose their rights. I want to stop the corruption and coercion of the adoption industry. It IS a multi-hundred-million-dollar a year INDUSTRY, make no mistake.)

Under the system I propose, all adoption agencies have been shut down, their proprieters jailed for child trafficking. We have done away with the $13,000 a head benefit the government pays to each adopter upon finalization. The hundreds of millions of dollars (our tax money) the government saves i…

Post Adoption Depression: NOT A Medically Recognized Diagnosis

It's likened to post-partem depression. When one has gone through the (I laughingly call it) "rigorous" adoption process, apparently, after bringing "their" new child home, 65% of adoptive mothers end up suffering from "post adoptive depression". 

That's right, fellows. You read that right. 65% of adoptive mothers claim they "become depressed" once they finally get that baby they've been "working so hard for". Yeah. Filling out a bunch of papers and answering a bunch of questions, then sitting on your ass waiting for a phone call is a LOAD of work. Especially whey compared to, oh, I don't know, being pregnant?
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[[Post-adoption depression syndrome (PADS) is real.  Joni S. Mantell, MSW, founder and director of the Infertility and Adoption Counseling Center, discusses the challenges of PADS in her article entitled“Beyond Happy” (featured in Adoptive Families).   She describes symptoms of PADS as “overwhelming…

Poor Mistreated Adopters Part 2

She wrote another one. Indeed she did. This time she speaks at length about us, and how we "trauma children" deliberately set out to manipulate, lie, "triangulate", and scapegoat our way into our adopters' marriages. Drive wedges. Try to destroy their lives.

" Seems no relationship is untouched by the havoc wreaked incessantly by the trauma exploding and oozing from some adopted children."

Yes, we ooze havoc. We do it on purpose, you know. We love the idea of destroying your life. We are thrilled to alienate your friends and family. Nothing gives us greater pleasure than destroying families. We've been doing it since birth, you see? The evil manipulation is baked right in, right??

" little more than eight years ago, God dropped adoption into our lives. And very long story short, within a year we went from being a typical family with three little blonde kids to a transracial adoptive family of eight. "

That, my dear, sounds like a personal pr…

Lies, Lies, Lies

I have found in my travels down this bumpy road, that many of my fellows are obsessed with the truth. I find myself being one of them. Sadly (because somewhere, off in a dusty corner of mind I never sweep, it does sadden me), I find myself not caring if the truth is hard or cruel or difficult to swallow. Because, to paraphrase Ghandi, even if the truth is unpopular and pisses people off, it's still the truth. (Trust me, I REALLY REALLY know how much of an asshole I look like right now. Remarkably, I don't care.)

In the adoption world, the truth is exceptionally ugly. Which is why we're all taught to lie. We're all taught the lies of adoption propaganda. I.e., adoption is a beautiful thing, a gift, a better life. Adoption is a blessing from god. It saves lives. Adoption is an image of smiling hopeful adoptive faces and Disney world dreams applied as a thin veneer to hide a world of greed, corruption, profiteering, and child trafficking.

This is the first set of lies wiped…

What Do You Know?

It's a loaded question, isn't it? What do I know about *what*? Well, today, it's, "What do you know about your family?"

Everybody who isn't adopted has tons of stories about their families. That time that dad hooked himself while fishing. Or the fact that your grandfather served in wwii. Long military lines. Long lines of government employees. Long lines of farmers. "My family has owned this ranch for five generations. My great-great-great grandfather built this house with his own two hands."

The point is, we all have our family stories. Down to things as simple as, how my mom met my dad. Most little girls know that story from their mothers. Where your parents were the day you were born. The first time you sat up. Your first word. Stories about your parents' births, childhoods. How did theirs compare to yours?

Don't get me wrong, I have a load of stories, too. I know all kinds of history and stories of the family in which I was raised. But t…

Poor Mistreated Adopters

Yeah, you heard me. I didn't stutter. Some of you are not going to BELIEVE some of the shit I've read this week. And some of you are going to be asking me, where did you find that blog? I need to follow her! Don't worry, I'll attribute the website at the end of this article. I think some of my fellow adoptees might like to take a look at it well.

The blog post is about what she refers as "trauma children". By this she specifies that she's talking about older fostered adoptees who have been traumatized by the system. But frankly, some if not all of the behaviors she twists and misconstrues to suit her victim model would apply to a lot of us, not just kids that came out of care later. Many of us have had some of these manifestations of C-PTSD. Especially those of us mistreated by our adopters. For example:

"You’re pushed away. You’re spat upon. You’re punched. You’re hit. You’re rejected. You’re lied to and lied about and often. You’re the scapegoat for …

Discrimination? 2

For reference, read Discrimination?

For those who don't see how this is discrimination, since I've come across a giant load of idiots who just don't see it lately... let me lay it out for you.

In order for a non adopted person to get their birth certificate, with their biological mother and father's names, their actual siblings listed, the real hospital and county they were born included: they have go down to the office, show ID, pay fifteen, maybe twenty bucks, and voila! Twenty minutes later they walk out of the office with their grubby little original birth certificate in their hot little hand. No questions asked. No justification or permissions required.

To be fair, I can do the same thing. This is the argument that are not discriminated against, because I can go the office and pay for a birth certificate, too. Just one problem. The one I purchase a copy of is a fucking FORGERY.

That woman listed where it says "mother"? She's not my mother. It wasn…

Discrimination?

Today I want to talk about one of the many things that makes me refer to adoptees as 3/5 of a person. Birth certificates.

According to https://www.dmv.org/vital-records/birth-certificates.php :

"What Is on a Birth Certificate?

Most of the time, your birth certificate is originally created at the hospital, shortly after you're born. It contains much vital information about you, such as:
Your full name.
The time and date of your birth.
The city or county of your birth.
Your parents' full names, including your mother's maiden name, if applicable.
Some birth certificate forms may also include additional information, such as:
The birthplaces of your parents.
Your parents' address(es), occupations, and ethnicities.
The number of children your parents already have."

"Birth Certificate Uses

Since it's an official notation of so much personal information, a birth certificate is often required as a means to legally prove your identity and/or age.
Situations wh…

Comfortable

"Good morning, the worm your honor!
The crown will plainly show
The prisoner, who now stands before you,
Was caught red-handed showing FEELINGS.
Showing FEELINGS of AN ALMOST HUMAN NATURE.

THIS WILL NOT DO." --Roger Waters, "The Trial", The Wall

"DISTURB THE COMFORTABLE. COMFORT THE DISTURBED." --Unknown

No one has the right tell anyone else what to feel. Nor does anyone else have the right to silence another person because that person espouses ideas that challenge their perspective, comfort, or status quo.

If my words cause you pain, you need to look at why. If it's because you feel sorry for me, don't you dare. I don't, and I'm the one who lived it. If my words cause you pain or fear, ask yourself why my truth should bother you so much. If it makes you angry, do you feel attacked or just vulnerable? If it's because you don't like the words I choose or the way I string them together, that's just too damn bad. Go read another b…

Feelings

I dislike feelings. I have them, unfortunately. I don't want them. 

I'm actually bipolar, so I will have long blissful periods of absolute emotional numbness. I. Don't. Feel. Anything. No happiness or sadness. It's nice. It's the only time that the tumult inside is quiet. I like being numb. I see people bitching that they can't feel. "Oh, poor me, I'm numb." Yeah. Poor you. Don't be in such a hurry to feel things. You aren't missing anything.
When I do feel, it is not small or quiet. I am either numb or absolutely wracked with emotions. There is no in between. It is black when I feel and white when I don't. No gray. Never gray. 
When I love, it is whole hearted, violent, and passionate. I love so much it hurts. Hate is the same. Indifference is all that lies between. It is easy for one to slip from love to hate, and from hate to indifference, and damn near impossible to claw one's way back the other direction. I never fully trust anyo…

Self Righteous Birth Mother? Come, Let's Chat.

Ok, first and foremost, if your children were stolen, taken against your will, or adopted out without your consent, this isn't about you.

If you signed a paper relinquishing your rights, I am talking you. Get ready, because you are gonna hate me in about ten minutes. And guess what? I don't give a damn.

You don't really have space to talk much, birth mother. You want to tell me how you were coerced. Tricked into thinking you did what's best for me. All that says to me is that you are exceptionally weak and impressionable. Maybe you care more about social norms than you do about me. Maybe it's college. Or you're afraid of what mommy or daddy will think. Maybe you're afraid. I don't care. Unless someone put a gun to your head and forced you sign, there isn't enough coercion in the world to justify the choice you made. What you did was worst for me. You put me in the hands of heartless profiteers who made almost thirty thousand dollars selling me to an…